LOLOLOL

monobeartheater:

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck

shiny-slowpoke:

i found the only buzzfeed headline i will ever care about

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danbutt:

quality reporting

danbutt:

quality reporting

bikinipowerbottom:

billiamswheatdown:

ladygagarbage:

when you masturbate twice on the same day

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When you finger yourself while masturbating

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when you try to suck your dick and you break your ribs

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the-fandoms-are-cool:

the-fandoms-are-cool:

leradny:

videohall:

Astronaut readjusts to life back on Earth

> Don’t give him a baby for a while.

HE GRABS THE CUP BUT THEN HE DROPS THE PEN 0.0003 SECONDS LATER

AND HE LOOKS UP AT THE CEILING INSTEAD OF AT THE GROUND WHEN HE CAN’T FIND THEM

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING HE JUST DROPS IT

IT’S NOT FUNNY IT’S VERY LOGICAL THAT HE WOULD HAVE ADJUSTED TO LIVING LIFE WHILE HE WAS IN SPACE BECAUSE IT’S DIFFERENT FROM EARTH BUT I CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE

*THUNK*

YES IT’S BACK ON MY DASH THIS IS MY FAVORITE VIDEO

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fileformat:

herculeanluxe:

vinebox:

White people son

are you serious

good