whenever people mentioned ‘fantasy football’ i always just imagined regular football but with dragons and swordfighting and shit
what if we started telling “yo MOMA” jokes
"yo MOMA so desperate their special exhibit for the month was 1st graders play dough sculptures"
UCF two tallest volleyball players and shortest cheerleader
its like they’re not even the same species.
you cant fuck robots yet but the future is near
Who says you can’t fuck robots now? What do you think all those slots and wires on desktop computers are for?
you know what oddbagel, you have inspired me to think outside the box. Never again am i going to tell myself “I cant fuck that.” Because I can. I can fuck that. thank you.
"Keep driving or I will pull the trigger"
when you forget capslock is on and google something really aggressively by accident
I’m watching Monsters Inc. with Pulp Fiction subtitles
my dad accidentally called me dad once
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT KNOW
THIS IS A TRUMPET
THIS IS A TROMBONE
THIS IS A TUBA
AND THIS IS A FRENCH HORN
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME
You mean trumpet
Big ass trumpet
I’M GONNA PUNCH YOU
AT LEAST YOUR INSTRUMENTS LOOK DIFFERENT